An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. Will Rogers
A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising and then after all little by little it grows nothing but vegetables, nothing, nothing but vegetables. Gertrude Stein
It is not hard to change when your biggest problem is whether the weeds prosper in a vegetable patch. David Gemmell
My life [is] a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh. Jon Stewart
The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable. Jasper Fforde
Don't open your diamonds in a vegetable market. Tie them in bundle and keep them in your heart, and go your own way. Kabir