If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass. Lewis Black
I would not drink bottles of water at my mom's house because I never knew how long she'd been refilling them from the sink and putting them back in the refrigerator. Dan Fogelman
Every time I get on an airplane I have a routine. I cover the inside of my nostrils with anti-bacterial ointment. I'm popping Zicam like it's candy. And I drink, literally, from L.A. to New York, six bottles of water. Zachary Quinto
In the corner store we pulled fat bottles of water from the shelves. No one thinks it's weird that we have to buy clean water, and that's how I know we're going to hell. Michael Crichton