They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor
Depressions may bring people closer to the church but so do funerals. Clarence Darrow
I never go to funerals. To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time. After that, your memories should be personal. Hedy Lamarr
Whenever it was necessary to have a large entourage, we used military vehicles or, as for the two state funerals and our state swearing in, we hired every spare Cadillac from every undertaking firm in Ottawa. It's a make-shift way to operate a country of the size and rank of Canada. Judy LaMarsh
I hope that famous critics will not class me with certain devotees of death and doom if I say here that I think that funerals in our churchyard gave me more entertainment than most other things when I was a little boy. Halldór Laxness
Attend funerals avoid weddings. Arabic Proverb