I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. Mitch Hedberg
My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest. Layne Staley
The girls show up wearing nothing. I can't lie, I'm 16, I don't hate it. I don't have a girlfriend. Justin Bieber
I fantasize about going back to high school with the knowledge I have now. I would shine. I would have a good time, I would have a girlfriend. I think that's where a lot of my pain comes from. I think I never had any teenage years to go back to. Spalding Gray
Getting plenty of sleep is always great. It really is. I have a girlfriend who's sending me a slant board. Bernadette Peters
If I'm having a really bad day, I always have a girlfriend - or even a guy friend - who I can call. They'll listen to me wallow for a minute and then be like, 'Okay, let's stop. Everything's great. Let's figure out how to fix whatever's bothering you.' Emma Roberts