When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes." Steven Wright
Last night I woke up with someone squeezing my hand. It was my other hand. William S. Burroughs
I woke up and realized life is great and people are awesome and life is worth living. Hulk Hogan
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep. Stan Laurel
The next morning I woke up at oh eight oh oh hours, my brothers, and as I still felt shagged and fagged and fashed and bashed and my glazzies were stuck together real horrorshow with sleepglue, I thought I would not go to school. Anthony Burgess
When I was twelve, I went hunting with my father and we shot a bird. He was laying there and something struck me. Why do we call this fun to kill this creature who was as happy as I was when I woke up this morning. Marv Levy